I was
lucky to be able to speak with Guru Nanda about this, for the first
time, as he had been away quite a long time… So I asked him this:
EW: Guru
Nanda, what is meant by gentleness, and why should we not be harsh
to others?
GN: Gentleness is virtuous and
therefore intelligent. Harshness show a lack of understanding of the world.
EW: But
doesn’t the world show both gentleness sometimes and harshness at others?
GN: Of course, the world may
seem like that, but virtuous human beings are never harsh, for that shows lack
of understanding. We human beings have many natures. One aspect of our higher
nature is gentleness, and therefore cruelty is lower nature, and to be avoided.
Harshness is only an option if there is a particular master-to-pupil relationship
in which it is understood that some harshness may be applied by the teacher,
although this is always done with benevolence at heart, so it is really benevolent,
not cruel. It is not harshness for the sake of harshness.
EW: But
why is gentleness a virtue? What makes being mild, soft or kind into an act of
intelligence for a human being?
GN: You must understand that the
mind can be many things – mind has many impulses. But the wise person will
always choose the most intelligent way to behave, the best route at all times,
and will always choose gentleness over harshness. First, because the mind and
heart are in union with something greater than ourselves, and that union can only
be forged by true intelligence. Second, because being harsh or unkindly shows up
a defect of the mind, derived from self-centeredness, arrogance, violence and
other shortcomings of the heart. Thirdly, because it is untrue that these
defects themselves can remedy or correct any kind of behaviour that we are
faced with. Harshness only engenders and increases harshness; cruelty, cruelty;
violence, violence. These can only be cancelled out and cleaned by gentleness,
and therefore gentleness is superior to harshness and must be chosen by our
true intelligence over any other option.
EW: Yes,
but why is gentleness more intelligent? What do you mean by that?
GN: You are brought up to see
the world as outside of yourself. Let’s say you think it is “you” versus “the world”.
You think that by forcing something or being harsh, you can rearrange the “world”
out there somewhere. But who is doing the forcing? What are you forcing
against? You are just following an impulse. What impulse is that? What you
follow, you become. If your mind follows harshness, you sow harshness and you
reap it later. It comes back to you. Or better to say it roots in you and
reappears. Because you have not really affected the world by your impulse; you
have just had a thought, a very weak thing, and that thought has gained power
and become emotional – stronger maybe, but still a weak thing that soon dies
away and only leaves the mark of habit. What you have done is to reinforce your
own impulse. This all happens in your mind. Because “the world” and your “mind”
are the same. Your only perception of the “world” is inside your head. You
interpret the world out there inside your head, with sense impressions and
memories. So being efficient and productive means using intelligence, which
comes from the universe itself – see it in nature, in the sun, the earth, the
flowers, in your own body – and gentleness is part of intelligence, because by
accepting gentleness within your mind, you are rooting it, you are
strengthening it, and you will see it reappear for you.
EW: I’m
sorry to insist, but I still don’t see why gentleness is intelligent.
GN: Intelligence is the ability to
discern reality. To see our true status in this world requires intelligence and
discernment. Today you know it is much easier for all of us to begin to see
reality because of globalisation, instant communication, increased knowledge and
the ready availability of knowledge. We know we are little specks of dust on a
green and blue planet in a huge solar system in a remote corner of the galaxy
amidst untold galaxies of an expanding universe (image shows the “Pale Blue Dot”,
or Earth as photographed on February 14, 1990, by the Voyager 1 space probe
from a record distance of about 6 billion kilometres out in space). And
there is harmony in all this. Some small comets may fall, but generally in our
lifetimes things are quite stable. The Earth moves gently around the sun, the
moon gently around the Earth, and so on. So this gentleness of movement is the
virtue we should aspire to and apply. By seeing our place in the universe we
become gentle. On the contrary, by defending a fictitious Self or ego we become
harsh and violent. So anything that tends to increase the sway of self-centredness
or ego over the human being is unintelligent and is to be rejected, and vice
versa, anything that tends to annihilate or disintegrate our self-centredness
or ego is intelligent and is to be welcomed, and this is why gentleness is superior
to harshness, cruelty or even to apathy, which stems from lack of empathy, lack
of putting yourself in another’s position.
EW: You
mean we should stand up to cruelty by being gentle? How is that possible? We
will be overrun, shot down, and maybe even killed!
GN: There are other elements of
intelligence besides gentleness. Maybe if you are intelligent you shouldn’t
even be in that position, to get beaten down and shot!
EW: OK,
but what if I am?
GN: My dear boy, if you are and
you haven’t been able to avoid it, you will be shot down and become a martyr. But
if you die in peace and gentleness, have no doubt you will turn back upon the
source of all and find enlightenment.
EW:
Thank you Guru Nanda, I guess that’s a comfort, but to sum up, gentleness is better
than harshness because it is more intelligent. So what do we do if we’re a little
dumb still?
GN: We’ll talk about that next
time, I think. Question time has to finish now. We have our practises to do, and
they promote peace and gentleness in our minds, so that’s what we have to do
now! Doing is much better than talking.
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