Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Edward’s Diary Entry 65 – Virtue 18. Gentleness (Mardavam) / What to do about harshness?

Cruelty, hard-heartedness, harshness, wantonness, unkindliness, lack of leniency…

I was lucky to be able to speak with Guru Nanda about this, for the first time, as he had been away quite a long time… So I asked him this:

EW: Guru Nanda, what is meant by gentleness, and why should we not be harsh to others?
GN: Gentleness is virtuous and therefore intelligent. Harshness show a lack of understanding of the world.
EW: But doesn’t the world show both gentleness sometimes and harshness at others?
GN: Of course, the world may seem like that, but virtuous human beings are never harsh, for that shows lack of understanding. We human beings have many natures. One aspect of our higher nature is gentleness, and therefore cruelty is lower nature, and to be avoided. Harshness is only an option if there is a particular master-to-pupil relationship in which it is understood that some harshness may be applied by the teacher, although this is always done with benevolence at heart, so it is really benevolent, not cruel. It is not harshness for the sake of harshness.
EW: But why is gentleness a virtue? What makes being mild, soft or kind into an act of intelligence for a human being?
GN: You must understand that the mind can be many things – mind has many impulses. But the wise person will always choose the most intelligent way to behave, the best route at all times, and will always choose gentleness over harshness. First, because the mind and heart are in union with something greater than ourselves, and that union can only be forged by true intelligence. Second, because being harsh or unkindly shows up a defect of the mind, derived from self-centeredness, arrogance, violence and other shortcomings of the heart. Thirdly, because it is untrue that these defects themselves can remedy or correct any kind of behaviour that we are faced with. Harshness only engenders and increases harshness; cruelty, cruelty; violence, violence. These can only be cancelled out and cleaned by gentleness, and therefore gentleness is superior to harshness and must be chosen by our true intelligence over any other option.
EW: Yes, but why is gentleness more intelligent? What do you mean by that?
GN: You are brought up to see the world as outside of yourself. Let’s say you think it is “you” versus “the world”. You think that by forcing something or being harsh, you can rearrange the “world” out there somewhere. But who is doing the forcing? What are you forcing against? You are just following an impulse. What impulse is that? What you follow, you become. If your mind follows harshness, you sow harshness and you reap it later. It comes back to you. Or better to say it roots in you and reappears. Because you have not really affected the world by your impulse; you have just had a thought, a very weak thing, and that thought has gained power and become emotional – stronger maybe, but still a weak thing that soon dies away and only leaves the mark of habit. What you have done is to reinforce your own impulse. This all happens in your mind. Because “the world” and your “mind” are the same. Your only perception of the “world” is inside your head. You interpret the world out there inside your head, with sense impressions and memories. So being efficient and productive means using intelligence, which comes from the universe itself – see it in nature, in the sun, the earth, the flowers, in your own body – and gentleness is part of intelligence, because by accepting gentleness within your mind, you are rooting it, you are strengthening it, and you will see it reappear for you.
EW: I’m sorry to insist, but I still don’t see why gentleness is intelligent.
GN: Intelligence is the ability to discern reality. To see our true status in this world requires intelligence and discernment. Today you know it is much easier for all of us to begin to see reality because of globalisation, instant communication, increased knowledge and the ready availability of knowledge. We know we are little specks of dust on a green and blue planet in a huge solar system in a remote corner of the galaxy amidst untold galaxies of an expanding universe (image shows the “Pale Blue Dot”, or Earth as photographed on February 14, 1990, by the Voyager 1 space probe from a record distance of about 6 billion kilometres out in space). And there is harmony in all this. Some small comets may fall, but generally in our lifetimes things are quite stable. The Earth moves gently around the sun, the moon gently around the Earth, and so on. So this gentleness of movement is the virtue we should aspire to and apply. By seeing our place in the universe we become gentle. On the contrary, by defending a fictitious Self or ego we become harsh and violent. So anything that tends to increase the sway of self-centredness or ego over the human being is unintelligent and is to be rejected, and vice versa, anything that tends to annihilate or disintegrate our self-centredness or ego is intelligent and is to be welcomed, and this is why gentleness is superior to harshness, cruelty or even to apathy, which stems from lack of empathy, lack of putting yourself in another’s position.
EW: You mean we should stand up to cruelty by being gentle? How is that possible? We will be overrun, shot down, and maybe even killed!
GN: There are other elements of intelligence besides gentleness. Maybe if you are intelligent you shouldn’t even be in that position, to get beaten down and shot!
EW: OK, but what if I am?
GN: My dear boy, if you are and you haven’t been able to avoid it, you will be shot down and become a martyr. But if you die in peace and gentleness, have no doubt you will turn back upon the source of all and find enlightenment.
EW: Thank you Guru Nanda, I guess that’s a comfort, but to sum up, gentleness is better than harshness because it is more intelligent. So what do we do if we’re a little dumb still?

GN: We’ll talk about that next time, I think. Question time has to finish now. We have our practises to do, and they promote peace and gentleness in our minds, so that’s what we have to do now! Doing is much better than talking.

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