Why
shame? What’s the good of feeling bad about something that has happened in the
past? Can we make amends, say we’re sorry and then forget it? Yes, it’s simple.
If a mistake has been made, we want to make someone else feel better by saying “sorry”,
right?
Wait,
we’re missing the point. When the mind is in the so-called “normal” state of
unconsciousness, lacking Self-Awareness, remaining unanalysed, like Socartes’
“unexamined life not one worth living”, then shame is just an occasional
thought and feeling. It comes and goes. It’s usually a thought about the past. Occasional
because of the “hotchpotch-mind”. What kind of mind is that?
We did
the diagram for a Spanish version of Self-Awareness. And it looks like the box below. It’s the traditional “potpourri” or “grab bag”, full of an
assortment of confusing, contradictory, scrambled impulses, some of which are
very humane, some very mundane:
The
hotchpotch mind sees (sometimes) it has done something “wrong”, or has been
told (more likely) it has done something wrong, and the thought pops up, “Oh, I
shouldn’t have done that, you’re right. I feel ashamed!” Whereupon, apologies are made
if appropriate, and all is done. But is there an actual effect on the mind
of the thinker. Is shame useful? What is it for? How does it work? In the
absence of a striving to grow, shame is just like a patch placed on a pair of jeans. Doing something “wrong”, feeling momentary shame afterwards and
apologising for it does not change the structure or content of the mind. It may
very well please someone else, and make them feel better, which is good, but no
fundamental change comes about in the mind of the person momentarily feeling shame.
It can’t. All fundamental change only comes with greater Self-Awareness.
Greater
Self-Awareness facilitates the ordering of the mental structure. But Self-Awareness
starts with separation. If you are completely identified with your mind, there
is little Self-Awareness unless provoked from outside. To see how the mind
operates, you have to create this initial separation, so let’s say it’s one
part of the mind observing the functioning of another. As this is practised, Self-Awareness
increases. The structural order that has to be created is by “seeing” – the observation of
one part of the mind through the faculty of our so-called Witness or Observer –
which is simply consciousness, “you”, observing the operation of the mind. And
“you” see how your mind produces “thought”, “feeling”, how it receives
“impulses”, how – sometimes – unexpected “joy”, “happiness” or the “tingling sensation of being alive” comes into and pervades the mind and body. So we start with this
diagram:
This is
“normal waking” consciousness in the best of conditions. Self-Awareness (S-A)
is still separated and in its own box to the left, and thinking, feeling and
bodily impulses may be more or less ordered. With no S-A, you are totally stuck
and identified with either 3, 2, 1 or 0. The thought is you, and you
express it or not. The feeling is you and you tell someone or not. The
hunger or desire is you and you want to eat or have sex. At other times
you act automatically due to a hidden or unconscious impulse which you don’t
clearly recognise, but you act on it nevertheless.
(Note:
the crooked line and “?” to the left indicate that consciousness itself is
connected to and fuelled by an unknown source. We are not autonomous: for every piece of food
we eat, air we breathe and impressions we receive, we depend on our
environment, our eco-system, and this provides the energy we require for life and experience. Consciousness
also comes from a source, and many names are given to “?”. You choose your
own. The name is not the thing.)
If you
find the strength and power to stop identifying with every thought, feeling and
impulse – by generating S-A, sensing your own presence as you use your sense
organs or allow the mind to operate – then you come to this enhanced mental situation:
Here, there is more order, you are not trapped by every passing thought,
feeling and impulse, because you have enhanced your S-A, and are now
Socratically examining your life, observing your mental processes, filtering as
many impressions as possible through the bracket or funnel of
Self-Awareness. But… according to some… you start losing what you call
“spontaneity”, or maybe even your “rich sparkling personality”. But here,
so-called “spontaneity” or “personality” is a compendium of past conditioning,
which is the content of the mind, and it may look interesting, but it jumps all
over the place and there is “no one” behind such spontaneity. It is
fictitious. As a normal socialised ideology-based human being, your spontaneity
is not even yours. It’s society’s. And to be wise and promote human growth, we
have to go beyond what parents, family, leaders, society, religions and
philosophical systems have fed us with. We have to start afresh.
And if
you do, you sense that you are alive at every moment – provided remembering that you
are alive is possible. S-A comes and goes, it takes energy and power, and we
have little of that. We get distracted by externals, we get distracted by
internal operations, we need more fuel for the fire, and sometimes we can’t
find it. There are techniques for promoting it. We have to learn these. It is a
struggle. But the joy that comes during and after this struggle is sometimes so
intense that all suffering is worthwhile. Because you know you are alive,
trembling on the brink of a different world, with power coursing through your
body, your mind calm and peaceful, like after an intense mediation or yoga
session.
This is
where shame, Hrih, or modesty actually works. As we observe and
place ourselves firmly in S-A, we see we have done something useless or even
wrong. Better that we see it before we do it. That is “Hrih” in the sense of
being ”fearful of engaging in useless or wrong behaviour”. Virtue 1 is
Fearlessness, but this refers to not being afraid to be different or to travel uncharted
courses. We should and must be “fearful” of doing the stupid things we have
often done in the past. But that doesn’t always happen, so Virtue 19 allows us
to “feel shame” and use this energy to see our behaviour, correct it and not
allow it to happen again. Through 1) simple observation, 2) detection, and 3) elimination.
Then we are on the path of karma, right action, minimising useless
activity (akarma) and avoiding as far as possible harmful actions incurring
retributive consequences (vikarma).
This is not a moral thing. It is a
question of being efficient and practical. If useless or harmful action causes
an increase in unconscious behaviour patterns in our own mind,
and is not conducive to S-A, then the consequence is a decrease in S-A, a
reinforcement of the unconscious patterns, with "payment" for this having to be
made at some later date, in the struggle for enhanced awareness.
It's like ironing over creases and making them worse, instead
of flattening them out first, and keeping the fabric nice and smooth. The iron
is your Self-Awareness.
No comments:
Post a Comment