Friday, 17 June 2016

Edward’s Diary Entry 63 – Virtue 16. Compassion towards Living Beings / How to improve empathy?

Fear of certain animals, uncaring attitudes, insensitiveness, lack of caring, aversion and unfeelingness…

The right use of feelings is to use them to recognise our connectedness to the world: to a stone, a plant, a tree, an insect, a reptile, a mammal and a fellow human being. Feelings can be generated by thoughts, so a stone is a bone of the earth – we adults have 206 bones. A plant and tree take in our exhalations and create oxygen. Insects do subtle work at the limit of perception – by seeing what they do, we value the connectedness of our eco-systems better. Reptiles have their place in the universe, and in our reptilian brains; we can learn from them too. Mammals generate emotions with no conflict with thought: a wonderful thing! Humans beings are sometimes very difficult to deal with, because of wrong thinking and wrong feeling; and therefore ideal objects for our incipient or growing compassion.

- So we can sit and look at a stone. I think I will find one and put it on my altar, and spend 5 minutes meditating on its significance.
- In the last week, a rose bought from a street-seller to whom charity is due has blossomed out handsomely and has lasted longer than many others on my altar, and I am wondering why… as my meditation practise has been very fruitful and strong of late, and I have never had a rose that has lasted that long and looked so magnificent without even changing the water.
- I have spared the lives of 4 cockroaches recently when walking home at night. In my duty as a part-time barman I would have had to eliminate them if they had been in the wrong place, like hiding behind my bar! But in the street, I have sidestepped at least one, lest I tread on it. They will soon be killed by someone else, but not by me.
- I had a dream the other night about my ceiling falling down (which is actually true, due to a drain problem in the flat above me), and when it opened up, a greenish-gray lizard fell out and brushed my right thigh, and I woke up laughing! My real encounter with a baby garden snake produced the above photo, as someone had run away from the scene and told me about it. I got close enough for the little creature to “taste” me with its flicking tongue and realise I was not dangerous.
- Dogs and cats are easy. We stopped in the street to greet a particularly friendly and well-groomed dog called Kiko the other day, whose elderly owner said Kiko was much more loving than her own son, poor thing! But the faithfulness and love of dogs above humans is well known to all…isn’t it?
- So what do we do with humans when they get obstreperous? How do we increase empathy without getting upset? We need a daily programme for this, and it starts with the stone and works its way up the ladder. It’s easy – most of the time! – to practise “love” on those we already love. So the challenge is practising compassion on things and people we are somehow adverse to. That’s the trick.

1) Learn to love a pebble on the beach – take it out from under your beach towel, without complaining, and try to feel love for it and cherish it for 10 minutes. You’re cheating if you pick only the most beautiful pebble!
2) Plant a plant and look at it for 5 minutes a day, and touch it gently for another 5 minutes.
3) Save a fly or a spider stuck in your window instead of killing it. Force yourself to look at a cockroach and feel no fear.
4) Watch salamanders, lizards or snakes and think well of them for 10 minutes.
5) Find a pet you don’t care for very much, or the farm or zoo animal you wouldn’t normally pay attention to, and watch it for 10 minutes and try to empathise with it. See how it moves, acts and expresses its emotions, whatever they are.
6) Choose someone you “don’t like very much” and try to find some good things about him or her – even if they’re in your own family! Give something to a stranger in need. Smile at someone who looks sad or anxious and see what happens.

Start small and enlarge your capacity for empathy bit by bit. How are we ever supposed to love “God” if we can’t even stand up to a spider or a mouse? They may have been put there to test us!

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