Edward’s Diary Entry 60 – Virtue 13. Renunciation / What to do about expecting reward?

Attachment, identification, me and mine, clinging, holding on, look Ma no hands!… Aren’t I great?

Tyaga means “quitting”, “throwing away”, “giving up”, even “sacrificing one’s life”. Said Krishna to Arjuna: “Not caring for the fruits of action, necessary actions are to be performed.”

So the problem for the mind is “caring” about the “outcome”. O small-minded human! Born in a certain way; brought up in a certain way, admonished by society in a certain way, prejudiced on his own initiative in a certain way; how can you even perceive an action and its outcome? And care about the fruits? If you don’t know everything, how can you know the particular? If we look at it, we can see we do not often know the results of our actions. There are too many unknown factors and circumstances involved. So if this is unknown, why care about a particular envisioned result? This result is fictitious, induced by mind, wants and desires. Like writing our own story and giving it an ending…

We can’t be good just to get to heaven,

That’s just acting in fear.

We can’t be kind in expectation of kindness,

We’ll always be met with a tear.

We mustn’t be nice to bask in niceness,

Whoever said life was that fair?

We can’t do anything to receive in kind.

We just do what we can with no care.

This is a big thing, and it takes some mastery of the bare essentials. If you have fixed no plan, taken no resolutions, it’s difficult to understand. If feelings reign supreme, it has no meaning. If unexamined thoughts entangle you, it makes no sense. If my sense of “I” always takes over, renunciation is annulled from the start.

But if there is a plan, a set of rituals or actions we are not identified with, but act on, because we have decided to, then “not caring for the fruits of action” begins to make sense. Just like steadfastness or perseverance. You don’t decide something and change it tomorrow. If you have a sense of meaningfulness, you stick to a reasonable course of action at least for a year or two, adapting and improving as you go.

Most of the time, we go around believing we are immortal, and therefore we expect all kinds of results in the future. But what if each act were our last? Then “outcome” wouldn’t matter, would it? Only our good intentions.