Edward’s Diary Entry 120: Awareness during Yoga?

Let’s go back to the thinking process and look at it more closely… Because I was surprised the other day to hear what happens during a Bikram yoga session.

My experience is that I am “in the body, from the inside”, following its movements, sensing the various sensations of stretching limbs, lifting arms, legs, holding head up, chest out, compression here, relaxation there, at times breathing heavily, sweat dripping all over, heart beating fast then slowing down as breathing calms down, and the wonderful sensation of Savasana when I have a moment’s quiet recovery! At most, thoughts come as to whether the position is good, what the image in the mirror looks like, but I’m myopic so it’s all hazy anyway, or what the Rorschach shape of my sweat imprint on the towel looks like!, if I am actually sensing my swadhisthana, or second chakra, in the inverted bow posture or am I imagining it?, or if it’s really my sahasrara, or crown chakra in the rabbit posture or is it just my fancy?, or ”Uh-oh, that sacrum is not opening up very much is it?”, or “Ouch, here comes a cramp, let’s ease off a little on that leg…” and the occasional “Breath deeper Edward, your heart’s racing”, or “will I be able to stand this much longer? - Oh yes, just breathe and you might make it!”, and other similar things mainly concerned with what I’m actually doing… There are images that come from memory, such as the original pictures of the 26 Bikram yoga postures, other pictures of seemingly effortless postures performed by hatha yoga practitioners seen on Internet and similar things… Not too much wandering, and practically no thought of the rest of the day supposedly ahead of me, it’s too early for that! What if I have a heart attack and die right there on the mat? Is there really any use in planning ahead?

So hearing other people’s impressions was an interesting occurrence recently. It seems that other experiences vary somewhat from mine. For example, since practise has improved for a friend, the body now adopts the postures in “automatic mode” and when questioned as to where the mind was, it seems that thoughts run all over the place: to the day’s tasks and agenda, where to go, what to do, how to do this or that, what to say in this or that circumstance, in general role-playing the future and therefore being out of the present moment, or being more in the psychological moment of mental events, and things of this nature. When asked where Awareness or “I” was at that time, the answer was, “Well, I’m not there all the time. My body just does it and my thoughts wander all over the place…and that’s why I’m doing yoga, to see if they will ever meet!” Or “I do not have a very strong sensation of being in my body”, meaning this person is more in thought than in body. Another person was overheard saying “I hang in there, but I keep asking myself why I’m here – it’s so difficult!”.

The yoga teacher confirmed that yes, the idea is to be in the body and maintain the focus in the present moment and keep the mind calm, but not everyone is capable of doing this. So I mulled this over and devised a new way of looking at the mind based on ancient and modern teachings... back tomorrow with the initial idea.