If you’re limbs are not
supple, meditation can be difficult, as cross-legged or lotus positions are
harder for Europeans. It is said we should have a firm base for meditation,
thus the sitting position. But to make it more difficult, lying down with your head
propped up can also work. Because the danger is that you might fall asleep. My
trick is to do a Free-For-All (FFA) as a siesta. Lie on your bed and
prop up your upper back, neck and head with 3 pillows. Set an alarm for 25
minutes and just relax and try to think nothing, or just watch thoughts flow,
or doze, or just let yourself slip away into sleep. No problem. It’s free. Give
the body a little Spanish siesta after lunch. Then, once you’ve appeased the
body, and either dozed or just let yourself go, you’re all set for some “serious”
meditation. This depends on what you’ve planned to do, but my game is as
follows. After getting up and having some refreshment, I lie back down in the
same position and let myself breathe in and out slowly seven times, just
listening to my “inner sound” (which used to be like a musical F, but is now
around G#). I just relax first and let sounds come. By then my breathing is
relaxed. I breathe in slowly and hold. On the hold I mentally repeat “Who am
I?” (WAI) because I’m doing Vichara in this session. I let my breathe
out, and hold with another “WAI?”. It takes a few minutes to get into the
rhythm. Some thoughts or images may pop up. If they do, I just get back into my
breathing or WAI and they go away. In 30-40 minutes this happens maybe 3 or 4
times only (depending on the day!). Because as you continue, it gets easier. I
see darkness, with a few swirling lights and maybe a tiny black hole every now
and then. But more shapes will flow around, and with greater attention on WAI,
the body responds with tingling sensations, and the “call of the mysterious”
increases these sensations. Meanwhile the body has slipped away but there is a
strong sense of surrounding presence, and from one breath to another this
presence gets closer and closer, as if I were entering into this presence, or
it into me, and it draws me closer and closer inwards. There is peace, but
there is power and fullness as well. My hands and arms are no longer with me.
They have slipped far away. But often my right fingers – which are actually
lying flat – seem to be curled and my thumb and first two fingers feel as if they
were making a sign, as in some icons and paintings. At times I have actually
had to open my eyes to check that my fingers are actually lying flat, and not
making a sign, because I couldn’t believe it, they felt like they were
bent or crossed. My legs are long gone, except that the presence brings waves
of energy up and down my “body” which might even be floating. My inner sound
gets “louder” if you could call it that. Any sound outside in the street is
registered, but causes nothing, unless it has a certain frequency that forces
the body to react slightly, but the mind merely notices it and continues. A
child screaming is “me” calling on the “I”, a dumptruck unloading is “me”
cleaning out my mental refuse, a dog barking is “me” asking for my bone of
seeing Who I Am inside. Anything registered in the field of awareness is
all me and the universe in communion. The shapes are now green and come
swirling around. Maybe it’s just a trick of the eye. Then they turn purple and
some have golden stars or crowns. We are so used to seeing things in the
“outside world” and recognising them that it takes much time to start making
sense of the shapes and lights we can see inside. I am finding out if it is
worthwhile. If they are too overwhelming or distracting, I dismiss them, saying
“This is not what I am looking for; Not “I”, not ‘Truth’, not ‘God’, let them
pass…” And they go. Sometimes there is flash of a dream image without dreaming.
I see people, architectural wonders, archways and doors, a face, or a hand with
a red ring on it, an ancient crypt where I am to be buried; once the colours
turned suddenly into a white sheet, and I felt joy and thankfulness welling up
inside me. But I pay little attention to the images. The mind must be watched
carefully, nothing is certain, all is to be suspected, rejected even – all but
the source of the “I”, all but HIM, all but THAT, or SAT... There
is no alarm. Just a silent stopwatch, as I know when to get up and lie down and
start all over again.
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