Edward’s Diary Entry 95: A closer look at the Inner “I”…

I also conjecture that the creators of this letter were familiar with the 26 virtues of the Bhagavad Gita, either from direct study or from intuition, as virtue number 9, the number of the “I”, is Straightforwardness, which virtue is fulfilled in this letter, which, as we have said, has no extra crosslines or verticals or other decorative features. The 6th letter “F”, also straightforward, coincides with its Gita virtue of “readiness to make sacrifices, fire worship”, with the “F” standing for fire, the element that consumes combustible material and reduces it to ashes for recycling. By the look of it, these monks were men of enormous learning and knowledge.

So the critical point where the I have placed an arrow in the picture, is the seat of our own “Self-Awareness”, our Witness or Observer, that cannot be observed, but rather is simply observing everything. If it is not totally corrupted, it not only observes the “outside” world (the right hand figure) but also the inner functioning of the mind (symbolised by the left-hand figure).

Now if we look at the left-hand side as created by these Medieval masters, we cannot but wonder at their perspicacity, their deep knowledge, and the simple way they created this symbol, which to my knowledge no one has ever investigated, as I am doing here.

Here are just a few additional interpretations:

If we take the upper section 2b to 2d as a separate part of the symbol, left, we see the head and beak of the dove, the symbol of peace, and this beak points upwards to the lofty heights of the spirit and the world “above”, which is really within. Our spirit, if we choose the totem dove or bird sign as our own, looks up to the invisible realms where all will be revealed. Where penmanship comes to an end and nothingness begins.

Another dissection of the symbol on its lower section (2b to 2a and the “foot”) gives us two interesting things: the number 2,  meaning that this “I” is like the Roman god Janus, with two faces, looking both ways – outwards and inwards; and the number 2 also looks like a capital Q, meaning “question”. We have to question ourselves to realise this “I”. Taking things for granted and accepting parental and social interpretations will never get us there, as all doubting Thomases and Socratic aspirants well know. 

Can such a simple letter as the Old English “I” tell all this, or are we just imagining it? And what if we are imagining it? That’s what incipient intuition is for! And for anyone interested in looking deeper, it can mean much more. The left-hand side is difficult to grasp, let alone explain, and can only be intuitively understood. It looks like the number “3”, a tripartite entity of mind-soul-spirit. 

We have already said that it represents the inner world, connected to the outer and lower by the “thin red line” of battle between the material and mental sides of our minds. If the charge of the cavalry of the material is beaten back to its place along this thin red line – to the outer portion of the “I” – then all will be well with us and the journey inwards can continue. We see that the inner world is firmly planted, and O how firmly!, in the material plane. The Earth is our home, some say. Others say we come from far off in space. That only depends on how you look at it. The body and the material of which it is comprised certainly comes from the Earth and to the Earth does return. And this is the body’s home, whether in life or in ashes. And since this is the body’s home and we have obligations towards this body and its place of existence, to those around us, to loved ones, to society and to Caesar, the firm rooting of the soul in the material is understandable. Why are we incarnate? What is the meaning of coming into this body? This is the significance of the pursuit of the “I-“thought. It behoves us to find out before it is too late. That is the root question, and that is the question that leads us from the root of the material Old English “I” towards the upper left-hand sections, where we are mostly blind and see little in the darkness. 

The great “illuminators” of the 11th century – monks working on sacred manuscripts and treatises – drew out the skeleton of this structure for us in the letter “I”. When we lift up our inner eyes, or turn them inwards to look upon ourselves, we can suppose from their calligraphic references that there are two major constituents to be taken into account: the first section rising upwards and branching out to the left, like the right-hand half circle of the “o”, or a backwards “c”, (from 2a to 2b) and a second superior section rising up to a point at 2c, and then DOUBLING BACK on itself to finally disappear into nothingness at 2d. At the doubling back point, once again the lines are thin, tenuous, and possibly susceptible of  being broken or smudged or disconnected by lack of ink. But as this top line does double back successfully in a well-drawn letter, it becomes stronger and firmer, gaining in width and then thinning out once again to, as we said before, disappear into a point, and finally leaves behind all traces of work, craftsmanship, or in this case, penmanship. At that point it is when final liberation is achieved, God is seen, all is known, the Truth revealed, and when that happens, who can say… except those who have reported it, which report, they say, cannot be described in words.

(to be continued)