Edward’s Diary Entry 98: Now what? A Working Hypothesis…

And so the exercise has been done and – if you’ve been attentive – we have analysed the Gothic “I” in all its mystical glory and gained some insight into how and why it symbolises something and seems to preserve some special knowledge for us, if we look closely enough... One letter, representing our psyche, our self, with one part facing outwards like the five senses, and an inner construction for which we have to look within to better understand ourselves. But looking within is looking at blackness. Not exactly complete blackness as shown here, as there are always pinpoints of light and clouds and moonshine, much like the night sky...

Now, after a whole year of reviewing the Virtues in their positive attributes and their opposites, the Senses and the Gothic “I”, and quite a few articles and extras, I’m ready for more… Are you? Here’s a quick review of Edward’s mindset, written on 6 October 2016.

Working hypothesis 06.10.16:

Mind: There is this sensation of “me” which I call my “Self-Awareness”, and that is what drives this search, part of a “Life Plan” to delve within the mind, considering that we live in our minds, and we don’t even look into them properly, and accept all kinds of theories and words from others. That is a great mistake. This “Self-Awareness” is so “me” that it just happens, or works (or doesn’t work), and there is no getting behind it to observe it. It is just observing and experiencing. So as I sit still with eyes closed, there is darkness, and I reject all swirling lights and clouds and stars and black holes and retinal images and other things, and insist on an answer to “Who am I?”, “What is the origin of this I-thought?”. It takes great but silent effort to do this.

Body: The workings of the body are noted: heartbeat, breathing, perhaps some stomach gas or a sensation of fullness or emptiness, or a slight hunger pang, a discomfort here or there (normally due to yoga, or stretching, etc.).

Feelings:  The “feelings”, if any, do come occasionally, are noted, like excitement, calmness (serenity), delight, joy, satisfaction, interest, pleasure, surprise (amazement), longing (for an answer)… There are residual feelings of a “negative” nature that are detected occasionally, but usually caught and seen immediately, and not reacted to.

Thinking: The “thought process” is noted. It comes unexpectedly, a thought pops up, and the realisation that there are thoughts is noted. During practises, they are forthwith rejected, as it is not time for thinking during such sessions. An “idea” may occur, and it is noted and usually remembered for later writing (as in this very case). But usually thinking is quiet, as there are only two thoughts of importance in these sessions: WAI on the in-breath and WIG on the out-breath. WAI is of course Who Am I?, and WIG is an attempt to connect to a higher source and put things in perspective by referring to Where is God?, or Where is the Creator?, meaning how did all this come about?

Dreaming: The “dream process” is noted. As “Awareness” wavers, or “sleep” oppresses, what I call “dream images” and “thought trains” occur, and one can drift off into these. But usually “Awareness” returns and a renewed effort is made to reject the dream image or thought process, and breathing or breath-retention is used to come back to WAI-WIG only, or greater concentration on the “inner sound” that is always there.

Blackness: All else is black. There is nothing there. It’s a black wall. If drifting occurs, it may look interesting, but one can see an underlying dreaming process that could be called some kind of “subconsciousness”, but little importance is given to this – it may all be dreams, and we must have clear-cut reality. Unless something is very, very clear and explicit, it is rejected.

Visions: Very occasionally, reported in diaries, images seem to come from a “different place” – one is wide awake and attentive inside, with no sensation of sleepiness, and suddenly a clear photographic image occurs. This does not come from the underlying dreaming process in my present opinion. I reserve any opinion about this and must wait and see.

“Intelligence”: Underpinning all functions is an innate “intelligence” in the sense of an ordering, application and use of energy to keep all instinctive processes working. Heart, blood, lymph, cellular functions, digestion, elimination, breathing and the stuff of mind – thinking, feeling, sensing – all intelligently cooperate to keep this LIFE going. This is inferred by the mind as it contemplates life operations.

Other words: The things lots of people “talk about”, and even write about (as I sometimes do!), like the “I”, the “soul”, the “spirit”, the energy body, the mental body, the “higher self”, the pain body, the subconscious, the unconscious, the ego (or id or superego or whatever), the personality, even the “self”, are all just words and do not correspond to anything I can see in my mind. My opinion on these terms is reserved for later. If anybody uses them, they have to define them in their own experience. So far, there seems to be no more in the Mind than what I have described above, and when other words are used, they must always be questioned.

That is the current state of affairs in Edward Wells’ mind. Two years ago, there were many more words, thoughts and feelings, but I had no idea what they really signified. Today, calm perseverance has so far served me well. I hope this Diary has also been good for you to some extent.

Cave Series 11: Persevering in the Darkness

Black, darkness… Hey I can’t even see the phosphorescence anymore… There used to be lights, shimmering clouds, green shapes, purple fields and even little images once in a while. Now there is nothing. It’s all gloom, obscurity and shadow. This is when the going gets tough, and who can say if I’m tough enough to get going. There is no stick to beat me on; no word, no gesture. I’m all there is here, there’s no one else, and nothing to guide me. And it’s too dark, too dark to see. I’m knocking on the door, and it’s not heaven’s door, or hell’s gates. It’s just a big black sheet of rock, maybe the gates of Mordor, and I’m a tiny little barefooted hobbit. The only thing I have going for me is that I’m small and difficult to see, so maybe I can fool that huge expanse of rock and its guardians and slip past somehow. I don’t care what’s behind me or in front of me. I just have to keep beating away at those walls – and blowing my trumpet – and see if I can have them tumble down, like the walls of Jericho did once upon a time. 

Blogging for a Year: 16 November 2015 up to Today.

There’s no special significance in the fact that I’ve been blogging at International Self-Awareness Day for a year now, since 16 November 2015. It's just great to be 1 year old!

In my very first "Diary Entry" on November 18, 2015, I said I was “…planning to continue at least until July 2016”. Well, it's now been a whole year. This exercise has at least served me well, and I am now planning to continue for another six-month period, but I would like to know that someone is finding it interesting and/or useful, so I’m just wondering at this anniversary time: 

1) Has the information been of use to you? 

2) If so, what other things would you like to see on this blog?

3) Do you have any other comments you'd like to make?

I'm here, accessible and I will always reply. Meanwhile, thank you all for reading this blog and the IS-AD Facebook page, and special thanks to friends who follow Edward Wells on Facebook.

Celebrate life every day – every moment of it!

Tweaking the System: Slight change, Big difference. A Sensing Exercise.

My information about the “sensing exercise” comes from sources that are “ancient” for me, i.e., going back decades... 

Robert de Ropp explained this exercise in an appendix to his “Master Game”. Ouspensky and de Salzmann mentioned it. J.G. Bennett described this and others, and so have many other people in the Gurdjieff tradition. The Master himself gave an account of it in Chapter 7 of the First Book of “All and Everything”, when Beelzebub was instructing his grandson Hassein on how to prepare himself for the future: “…at your age, it is indispensably necessary that every day, at sunrise, while watching the reflection of its splendour, you bring about a contact between your consciousness and the various unconscious parts of your general presence… Try to make this state last and to convince the unconscious parts – as if they were conscious– ”...not to “…hinder your general functioning....”, after which he went on to enumerate the consequences of this.

Now unless you have some kind of guru or teacher, the individual seeker has to look after him or herself, and be reasonable. There are so many “opinions” about one thing and another, relating to eating, drinking, breathing, sleeping, waking, believing, thinking and offering yet more opinions, that it behoves the smart student to do all the necessary research, and then forget everything and start afresh. Find out for yourself. We’re supposed to be doing things to make ourselves more conscious, more in the present, more aligned with reality, not more dependent on others. So as long as you don’t jump off a building, or play Russian roulette, or blindly enter a sect, you’ll be fine... Just go your own way and discover. Listen to all, but get real data only from people who are tried and tested Masters, with real knowledge. And even then, test it out for yourself.

My sensing exercise, or “I”-Placement exercise, placing Awareness into 27 parts of the body successively and then bringing awareness of the body in its totality, has served me pretty well until now. It’s 25-28 minutes of pure concentration. It’s a challenge to remain awake. It’s a way to move energies around and experience sometimes powerful results. But it’s just a preparatory job, much like something for a child as “immature” as little Hassein. So, inspired by a new exercise which I have not done yet, but plan to do (the Isha Kriya from Sadhguru, a truly living source of wisdom today, and highly active in social media), I changed one little adjective to an definite article in the mental phrases that I use for my exercise. That means that instead of saying “I am in my right eye”, I made the change to “I am in the right eye”, thereby modifying the whole mindset of “proper English usage” and copying the Spanish, French and Germans and others, who use reflexive pronouns and definite articles with verbs indicating things they do to their bodies. Paraphrasing them, it’s like saying: “washing myself the hands”, “taking off the shoes for myself”, or “combing (for myself) the hair”, which all sound funny in English, but are realities in other languages, in which speakers strangely choose not to identify so much with their body parts and personal items, using “the” most of the time instead of “my”, “your” or “ours”.

This made me laugh a little, and it sounds strange, but it did the necessary trick. Suddenly the exercise became a little more objective. I was not identifying so much with “my” body and “its” parts anymore. It refuelled my attention and awareness. It was like hovering over a meadow like a drone, dropping my awareness into different sections of the field as if I were a farmer sowing seeds, and hoping for a good crop!

So that’s part of the game, master game or otherwise, of making up and modifying your own exercise as you go along, keeping attention riveted and preparing the field of the body for higher experiences, if possible.

Clingers and Hoarders I Have Known

Sadhguru of the Isha Foundation recommends a simple exercise for wellbeing called Isha Kriya. We can all do it, but it’s a great solution for clingers and hoarders as well – people who are blindly identified with their possessions. 

This exercise is a big revolution – or a terrifying revelation if you haven’t pondered on this before. Within the complete exercise there are various stages, but stage 1 is that on the in-breath you repeat to yourself “I am not the body” and on the out-breath – it gets even worse –: “I am not even the mind”. Poor materialists! They are left in the lurch here. Will their personalities or even their humanity be taken away from them if they do this? If they’re not the body or the mind, what’s left?

There’s a lot left, the whole universe in fact, and it’s infinite, so don’t worry. Animals are stuck in their patterns, humans are supposed to be able to grow and move upwards…

Let me just mention two cases of clinging and hoarding. One is a little old lady who, it is said, grew up in the war years (WW2) and is thereby supposedly justified for keeping all her things, however big, small, useful or potentially useful or useless, or because they came from this person or that, and although she normally knows where these things are, she really does have quite a quaint little house all full of objects, tools, heirlooms, papers, clutter, even stacks of scratch paper and Shredded Wheat cards, and of course lots of dirt, grime and filth.

The second example is an elderly gentleman who as a boy collected vinyl records, left them at his mother’s home 45 years ago, went back to visit only once for a few days in all those years, and has never bothered about the records since, but when they were recently cleaned out of the attic and sold to a collector, and he was told about it, he protested effusively from another continent that no one should have interfered with his affairs!

Now compulsive hoarders always have a justification for keeping all those things others “mistakenly” call unneeded. They are very adroit at explaining why such-and-such an object is of great value to them. See the "Batman" parody, below. And egoistic, uncaring persons who cling to things only when they’re gone are also very good at berating others for their insensitivity. But they are not so strange. The fact is that attachment and identification affect all of us – it’s just the degree and the object of attachment that are different.

What we are most attached to is of course our body. Body-love is drummed into us from all sides from the moment our little baby tummies are tickled by kind-hearted relatives. Some people possibly develop body-loathing by themselves later on. Yes, we have to learn how to use the body. Sure, we need to learn motor skills. But when there is no antidote to constant body-identification, we grow up firmly ensconced in our little shells and think that the body is all there is, and, for some reason, it has to be kept young as well when age creeps in. Some people actually progress a little further to think it’s their minds that make them who they are. And reeling its head over both these domains is the grandiose Ego who also thinks he’s the biggest of bosses, and woe unto him who offends that entity, because it will rear its ugly head and smite all and sundry and pummel them down into the dust.

So it’s quite easy to progress from the love of or identification with the physical body, and our attachment to our minds, and extend our boundaries to include our things, our possessions, our little souvenirs of life that no one knows what to do with when we die – unless the chain of identification continues in offspring or relatives. Of course no one would spurn a nice inheritance – especially cash, land and buildings – but what about those old letters, postcards, photos, mementoes and papers that meant so much to one person but fail to attract any interest from descendents?

So, yes, those familiar with Thoreau will side with his “Simplify, simplify”, but it really means that we have to look at things from a new viewpoint.

Growing means accepting life as it is. As life goes on, we should become wiser and wealthier in understanding, not necessarily in possessions. When we die, we leave everything behind – body, mind and possessions. So why live life clinging onto these and hoarding them? What possible good does it do to “us”? Because behind the body, and behind the mind is the “I” that is the Observer, the Consciousness, the small-scale representative of the Creator. That is what we need to promote and nourish and care for, not dust and ashes, not sense perceptions falling onto the field of awareness and being reacted to, not things made of clay, stone, wood, paper and man-made composites, however needed or useful they may be during our lifetime.

Celebrate your Self-Awareness and thank heavens you are not just your body, or your mind. But much more than that if you really want to be. 

A Democracy Lesson for Today...

With so much hot air, on mainstream airtime, about the results of the US elections, few realise that it is traditionally only half the population who actually cast a vote, so any candidate without a landslide victory always gains office with the consent of about a quarter of the population, like Mr Trump has now done. 

Some 25% of voters really vote for one candidate, 25% for the other candidate, and around 50% vote for “Nobody”. They are supposedly just sitting at home, reading or playing baseball, and only occasionally are they called the “silent majority”. Well, yes, they're probably silently thinking that no one is good enough for them, so that’s why they won’t come out and cast a ballot. Politicians don't like that, but they might start listening when turnout slips below the dreaded 50% line. Then what excuse will we have?

US turnout in the 2012 presidential election was 53.6%, based on 129.1 million votes cast and an estimated voting-age population of just under 241 million people. In the aftermath of the recent elections, smart people will do their homework and check out the current 2016 voting-age population and the number of votes actually cast to November 8. And you’ll find that it’s “business as usual” and the trend continues: US presidents never win by any kind of true majority. They are mostly elected with the ballots of a quarter or less of the population (obviating the mechanism of the electoral college). 

Nevertheless, this situation is dangerous for true democracy, and it was addressed before the elections by (one of) the world’s greatest “thinkers” – an Indian mystic whom I am following. In a real lesson on democracy, here’s what he told an audience in San Jose, CA. No one should miss this.

Are You in Control?

Dear Mr Concierge, what do you really control in your life?

My concierge said he had a problem... He shares a flat and has been told he has to move out in 2 month’s time because the property is being sold after 17 years of rental. This was a terrible blow to him, and he complained about the injustice of this… He says he needs more time.

Well, whenever something unexpected hits you in life, it’s because you haven’t analysed exactly what you control in your life. But wait, is total control possible? There’s a simple answer: N-O, no. Externals will always get out of hand at some point. But it is a good exercise to put things into focus once in a while. A rough guideline would look like this:

Money:	Job, income, outlays	Is my job secure? I could lose it any time, then I wouldn’t have an income. Am I prepared for this?
Roof:	Housing, property, rent	Do I own my property? Taxes may increase. If I’m renting, contracts can be terminated, so I need to realise that.
Possessions:	Transport, collections, furniture, decoration, personal items	Do I have a vehicle? It may be break down or be damaged at any time, even stolen. Disasters can strike and destroy my possessions. Robbers could break in and steal something, etc.
Food:	Eating and drinking	Do I control the source of my food? Do I know where it comes from, how it’s grown or produced? Is it natural or full of man-made chemicals and preservatives, factory food and fast food? Is this healthy? Am I in control of the water or liquids I drink?
Relationships:	Spouse, family, children, friends	Can I be sure a marriage or relationship will last forever? Do family members create problems for me, or I for them? Are my children growing up properly, and what does that mean? Can I always trust my friends? Will they make me happy at all times? Are they supposed to?
Health:	Sickness, disease and death	Will I succumb to illness at some time? Am I healthy? Will disease strike unexpectedly? Will I even die two minutes from now, I do not know, do I?
Mind:	Thoughts, feelings, impulses...	Can I trust my own mind to work properly and not misguide me? Am I in control of my own mind? Do I control thoughts, feelings, impulses? What about the unconscious and/or subconscious? What about my dreams, hopes and fears? Is my mind even mine? What is my mind composed of? Do I know?

You see, there’s no guarantee from outside sources, from the “externals” in our lives. Anything can change at any time, and the epigrammatic Murphy even made a Law of it. If anything can go wrong, it will (and some add, “and at the worst possible time!”).

So an intelligent human being will never trust only to “externals”, nor will he or she have any expectations that override actual occurrences. A smart person will get to the bottom of the whole equation and realise that it is the MIND that is the problem. We (mis-)“train” our minds (or they have been mis-trained for us due to wrong education) in such a way that all externals, all our sense perceptions of whatever happens out there, simply automatically (and without much intelligence) spark off a reaction in the mindstuff that opposes the reality of any situation that doesn’t coincide with our little wishes, our likes and dislikes or expectations. Our minds are out of control, and therefore any situation can go wrong at any time and make us anxious, stressed-out and miserable.

The solution to this is to “re-train” the mind to see reality as it is. It may be useful to make a chart of your “externals” and see how they might change at any time and so be better prepared for when they do, because they will. But that’s a makeshift plan. The real plan is to work on the mind so that it will not simply react to a changing circumstance and produce anxiety, fear, worry, misery or what have you, but on the contrary simply see the occurrence and find a solution, if there is one, or adapt. Now what do we need for that?

We need a total “mind overhaul”, and for that we have to sit still and look inside where all the action is happening all the time. We may think something is happening “out there in the world” that affects us, but it is not really happening there. It is taking place inside our heads and hearts, because that is where the seat of our experience can be found. We receive impressions and that is what makes up our world, and our world is inside us. So why are we looking around outside for a solution? It’s a neverending mistake to do that.

This has been stated ever since the first smart guy or guru began talking to someone else – many millennia ago. There’s a Mullah Nasrudin story about it, with the Mullah looking for the key to his house out in the garden, having lost it inside, where it was too dark to search, and I’ve also found a French cartoon strip about this adapted for America in 1942. Take a look... and search for some light in the inner darkness.

Edward’s Diary Entry 97: Whence the “spirit”? And then what?

2nd stage, or Dhyana: This is the creation of a mental image, the image of Christ for Christians; Mohammed for the Mohammedans; for the Sufis the tasawwur, or tasawwur-e-Shaikh, where a Sufi’s entire concentration is focused upon his Shaikh, to the extent that he experiences the presence of his Shaikh at all times. This presupposes the existence of a Teacher, but some say a teacher is not required; at least not a physical teacher, as the mental image is all that is needed. We are assured by the Christian mystics that concentration on the form of Christ will give us this experience – sooner or later. 

Meanwhile, with the mind strengthened by 1st stage Dhāranā, along with the indispensible practice of the 26 virtues of the Gita, or similar virtues – the names are not important, but the thoughts, words and deeds are – the mind is made stronger, it is purified, if one applies “true psychology” to reject non-virtues and accept Virtues, on the premise that mind is tainted and wild, and needs taming and civilising. Western psychological and linguistic concepts of using ‘qualifiers’ or adjectives, as in “I am afraid”, “I am charitable”, “I am fearless”, “I am hungry”, “I am …” with any qualifier; are considered incorrect. It is more practical and true to say, “I give way to fear”, “I accept and practice charitableness”, “I accept fearlessness”, “I give way to hunger”, etc. Because what we see as “traits of character” are not really that; they are urges or forces within the mind that the mind has the possibility of accepting or rejecting. Just like actions, which can be karmic, akarmic or vikarmic, that is: (karma) reasonable and right action; (akarma) useless activity to be curbed; and (vikarma) harmful actions incurring retributive consequences for the mind, by producing more vikarma or akarma. So 2c is the ideal that we have established in our minds, Christ, perfection, Truth, the name does not matter, and we direct all our efforts towards THAT. Along the way, just as at any stage, one may have experiences of the 3rd stage, called Samādhi.

3rd stage, or Samādhi: This is the unity of subject and object. This is when it is revealed to one that subject and object really do not exist. It is the Reality behind the image of Dhyana. The Purusha and the Supreme Reality, seeking the unknown source, concentration on truth, but… only achieved by the Grace of God. Here no effort except relentless perseverance will help. The walls cannot be forced down by any army of trumpets. When it is time it is time. The Zen Buddhists also say, “Our enlightenment is timeless, yet our realization of it occurs in time.” And the trouble here is point 2c again, where we may stop thinking that all has been achieved. This is Nirvikalpa Samādhi, bliss and happiness in visions supreme.  Here the soul is in bliss, in ecstasy. All is one; all is beautiful. But here, the mind is still playing its tricks. Or perhaps the bliss and happiness lasts as long as the world. But at the end of the world, it will be seen to be nothing, and it will be lost once again. The objective of the soul is to lose itself in THAT, to return to the Source. The Medieval “I” inventors have foreseen this as well, because at 2c the line doubles back on itself to 2d. It rejects the final vision of Nirvikalpa Samādhi and resolutely continues to watch and wait and question and “pierce the veil of consciousness”, and ultimately disappear in the attempt. All may be bliss, all may be beautiful, but all must be given up, the ego shall disappear, the mind shall also disappear, the soul shall be washed clean, the individual consciousness will be seen to be an illusion. Because we were already THAT which we were seeking from the beginning, from the beginning of time perhaps. Words are said to be unable to describe it. But beyond all form, beyond consciousness, breaking away with all constraints and all systems, suddenly it may come in a flash. And then everything is different. The world, as we think it into existence, has ceased to exist, and WE simply ARE. And yet the Perfected Ones, having realised this, re-enter the world to perform their worldly duties. And a new dawn has come. And life is only real, then, when “I AM”. Amen. Aum.

What wonderful symbolism contained in a single word, nay, a single letter drawn by Medieval Masters. Can Truth be any simpler? May you take this as inspiration for its attainment.

(The End – but only provisionally…)

Cave Series 10: Face East, Young Man

By the glowing phosphorescence of a rock in my cave, I noticed something on the floor and groped for it. It was an old compass, but it still worked, and I could make out the directions too. I now saw I was sitting with my back to the East, so I turned round and immediately felt better. Renewed hope overcame me. The mouth of the cave is East, I thought, so that is the way to face. It was the mistaken theory of "Manifest Destiny", an excuse for imperialism, that encouraged people to Go West, as Horace Greeley urged, to practically destroy Native American culture and "conquer the wild west", so I was determined to do the opposite and turn my face towards the wisdom of the East. And so I sat with palms turned upwards, and they tingled and practically caught on fire as I imagined the exit opening up and me walking out into the sunshine. But alas, that was not to be, and I decided to settle down and sleep for a while to see the sky outside, albeit in my dreams, or was it a faint premonition of things to come? 

Edward’s Diary Entry 96: What is the “Soul”?

So let us descend firstly to the initial back-facing “c” representing the soul. And what is the soul? If we had difficulties in describing the mind, how much more difficult it is to attempt to describe the soul. The Medieval calligraphers have been optimistic indeed, having bequeathed us this symbol in such a resplendent form, so harmoniously proportioned, so beautifully balanced. In comparison, I feel like a scribbled Roman cursive “I”, leaning far too much towards the right, facing outwards, with no home to go to, no spine to cling to, no other world to look back on. Why have these monks favoured this letter so much, giving it such depth, such heavily fortified backing, such inscrutable complexity? Are they telling us that something is missing? Or are they pointing towards that which is, yet which takes intelligence and discrimination to actually see? That must be it. They are describing an inner world that is possible, that does exist, and that cannot be otherwise. They are true Rishis in this respect, for the Wise Men of India say:

“If the mind becomes introverted through enquiry into the source of Aham-Vritti (ego-sense), the Vasanas (mental tendencies) become extinct. The light of the Self falls on the Vasanas and produces the phenomenon of reflection we call the mind. Thus, when the Vasanas become extinct the mind also disappears, being absorbed into the light of the one reality, the Heart. This is the sum and substance of all that an aspirant needs to know. What is imperatively required of him is an earnest and one-pointed enquiry into the source of the Aham-Vritti.”

Don’t get caught up in the words. They are just words, i.e. attempts to describe what the many speculate about and the fortunate few actually experience. Our back-facing “c” representing the soul, as shown above, is unknown to me. I can only guess at it and infer it. I can see part 1) outward and upward, section 1a) top section, intellectual functioning; section 1b) emotional function; section 1c) physical function, and I can sense the weak connection of the right-hand part 1) with back part 2 at 2a). The connection of 2a is where the urge to “know” and “experience” and “be” comes from at present. The lower section from 2a to 2b in its half circle represents something to do with the soul, but this is what the outer portions, the mundane outer I’s”, cannot know directly. So from here on it’s all conjecture and based on theories you either believe or don’t believe, or better, can actually experience. If you believe, or have investigated and decided to accept it as a working plan, then you can call it as follows:

1st stage, or Dhāranā: This means thinking of one subject for a long time, thinking of Truth historically. Concentrating the mind on one single idea. It is the “act of holding in the mind”, or curbing the mind, according to the Rig Veda. It may include or be complemented or preceded by the use of the rosary, reading the lives of Saints, the Bible, verbal prayer, the Sermon on the Mount, yogic literature, counting, reciting, mantras, questions, etc. to concentrate the mind. It may include thinking of Christ: his teachings, his personality, his life-activities and all we can know of Him. Or Mohammed, or Krishna, or Buddha. It includes the Sun, Moon, stars, rivers, mountains, lakes, all things created – even a leaf or a flower. Reading scriptures, saying prayers, telling beads is just using time to think of the glories of Truth one way or another, spending time on Truth, on God, on Creation, and nothing else. Everything was created by Him. One sees this in everything. And the circle expands infinitely. This concentration on an object fulfils the purpose of keeping away diverse thoughts and fixing the mind on a single thought, which, in turn, must also disappear before (Self-)realisation. But we are assured that realisation is nothing new to be acquired. It is already there, but obstructed by a screen of thoughts, by the shroud of maya. All our attempts are directed to lifting this screen and then realisation is revealed, it is said.

This, I would think, is the first half circle from 2a to 2b, as drawn by the magnificent Medieval letter-crafters in the symbol we are dealing with. The obstruction or problem here is that this practices leads in a circle. If we stay in this state and never move on, we follow the half circle or backwards “c” round to its disappearing point. We get stuck. We can only continue by backtracking from the point 2b and resolving to go upward towards 2c. This can be called 2nd stage, or Dhyana, more about which we will be seeing in the next article.

(to be continued)

Edward’s Diary Entry 95: A closer look at the Inner “I”…

I also conjecture that the creators of this letter were familiar with the 26 virtues of the Bhagavad Gita, either from direct study or from intuition, as virtue number 9, the number of the “I”, is Straightforwardness, which virtue is fulfilled in this letter, which, as we have said, has no extra crosslines or verticals or other decorative features. The 6th letter “F”, also straightforward, coincides with its Gita virtue of “readiness to make sacrifices, fire worship”, with the “F” standing for fire, the element that consumes combustible material and reduces it to ashes for recycling. By the look of it, these monks were men of enormous learning and knowledge.

So the critical point where the I have placed an arrow in the picture, is the seat of our own “Self-Awareness”, our Witness or Observer, that cannot be observed, but rather is simply observing everything. If it is not totally corrupted, it not only observes the “outside” world (the right hand figure) but also the inner functioning of the mind (symbolised by the left-hand figure).

Now if we look at the left-hand side as created by these Medieval masters, we cannot but wonder at their perspicacity, their deep knowledge, and the simple way they created this symbol, which to my knowledge no one has ever investigated, as I am doing here.

Here are just a few additional interpretations:

If we take the upper section 2b to 2d as a separate part of the symbol, left, we see the head and beak of the dove, the symbol of peace, and this beak points upwards to the lofty heights of the spirit and the world “above”, which is really within. Our spirit, if we choose the totem dove or bird sign as our own, looks up to the invisible realms where all will be revealed. Where penmanship comes to an end and nothingness begins.

Another dissection of the symbol on its lower section (2b to 2a and the “foot”) gives us two interesting things: the number 2,  meaning that this “I” is like the Roman god Janus, with two faces, looking both ways – outwards and inwards; and the number 2 also looks like a capital Q, meaning “question”. We have to question ourselves to realise this “I”. Taking things for granted and accepting parental and social interpretations will never get us there, as all doubting Thomases and Socratic aspirants well know. 

Can such a simple letter as the Old English “I” tell all this, or are we just imagining it? And what if we are imagining it? That’s what incipient intuition is for! And for anyone interested in looking deeper, it can mean much more. The left-hand side is difficult to grasp, let alone explain, and can only be intuitively understood. It looks like the number “3”, a tripartite entity of mind-soul-spirit. 

We have already said that it represents the inner world, connected to the outer and lower by the “thin red line” of battle between the material and mental sides of our minds. If the charge of the cavalry of the material is beaten back to its place along this thin red line – to the outer portion of the “I” – then all will be well with us and the journey inwards can continue. We see that the inner world is firmly planted, and O how firmly!, in the material plane. The Earth is our home, some say. Others say we come from far off in space. That only depends on how you look at it. The body and the material of which it is comprised certainly comes from the Earth and to the Earth does return. And this is the body’s home, whether in life or in ashes. And since this is the body’s home and we have obligations towards this body and its place of existence, to those around us, to loved ones, to society and to Caesar, the firm rooting of the soul in the material is understandable. Why are we incarnate? What is the meaning of coming into this body? This is the significance of the pursuit of the “I-“thought. It behoves us to find out before it is too late. That is the root question, and that is the question that leads us from the root of the material Old English “I” towards the upper left-hand sections, where we are mostly blind and see little in the darkness. 

The great “illuminators” of the 11th century – monks working on sacred manuscripts and treatises – drew out the skeleton of this structure for us in the letter “I”. When we lift up our inner eyes, or turn them inwards to look upon ourselves, we can suppose from their calligraphic references that there are two major constituents to be taken into account: the first section rising upwards and branching out to the left, like the right-hand half circle of the “o”, or a backwards “c”, (from 2a to 2b) and a second superior section rising up to a point at 2c, and then DOUBLING BACK on itself to finally disappear into nothingness at 2d. At the doubling back point, once again the lines are thin, tenuous, and possibly susceptible of  being broken or smudged or disconnected by lack of ink. But as this top line does double back successfully in a well-drawn letter, it becomes stronger and firmer, gaining in width and then thinning out once again to, as we said before, disappear into a point, and finally leaves behind all traces of work, craftsmanship, or in this case, penmanship. At that point it is when final liberation is achieved, God is seen, all is known, the Truth revealed, and when that happens, who can say… except those who have reported it, which report, they say, cannot be described in words.

(to be continued)

9 Mind Cleaning Tips...

This is dedicated to "E" and "J".

One. First, it’s a good idea to get familiar with your “personality type”, and one good way to do this is to take the Riso Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator test, available from the Enneagram Institute or downloadable on request from this blog in either Spanish or English. After you do the test and hand in your results, you can have the .pdf version of The Wisdom of the Enneagram (only in Spanish at present).

Your personality type will either confirm what you already know or give you a surprise why you do, say and feel things in your own way. It also helps to explain why other people do the things they do, and what kind of relationships you can have with them. When you see how personalities interact and how others affect you, you are beginning to bring a certain amount of order into your mind. This “liberates” you to a certain extent, because:

1. You no longer expect to receive from others what they cannot give. This includes parents, siblings, friends spouses, lovers and acquaintances.

2. You realise your strengths and weaknesses as regards yourself and others.

3. You begin to free your “you” from the contents of your mind. Personality was formed from your childhood and youth in quite an unconscious way, and you have to bring this into your present consciousness and accept it.

Two. Establish a plan. You’ve read self-help books, psychology or spiritual or transformational material to the bursting point. You’ve gone fishing here and there and found interesting things.

- If you’re the intellectual, ectomorphic or cerebrotonic type, you’ll never stop reading and thinking about things and you’ll get stuck in words only without action. Life isn’t just brains.

- If you’re the physical, mesomorphic or soomatotonic type, you’ll want to do things and you won’t bother studying too much – round yourself out and study as well! Life isn’t just muscle.

- If you’re the fun-loving, feeling, endomorphic, viscerotonic type, you won’t read and you won’t practise much – you’re busy having fun. But life isn’t just socialising and gut!

So consider your type and devise a plan that works for you. Edward Wells’ plan, which is pretty hefty, calls for at least 3 to 4 hours per weekday of “work on the mind and body” (excluding weekends which are for socialising), including rituals, yoga, breathing exercises, yoga exercises, sensing, zikr or prayer, walking with mental practises, meditation and contemplation. You have to make your own plan depending on your time, work, leisure and family. But you can start with much less. Just be creative and keep adjusting. Believe nothing, find out for yourself.

Three. Do it. Implement your plan. Sit down and practise. Don’t just make timetables and then not do it. The reality is in the doing. If you need help, go to four.

Four. Find other people interested in doing the same. Or study material that really helps you look inside yourself. Reading about it is not enough. Stop reading and start doing, and if you have others who are interested, compare notes. Find inspiration. There has to be fuel in the machine to start it and keep it going.

Five. Cultivate the “Witness” or the “Observer”. You should already have realised that “you” are not just your sensations, or your feelings (that’s tough for some!), or not even your thoughts (that’s even tougher!). You may feel like you are being stripped of everything you’ve acquired in life – your likes and dislikes, your opinions and beliefs, your pet peeves and fixed ideas… Sorry, it’s not that they have to go, you just have to realise that you aren’t them, nor are they “You”. There is a “You” standing behind all these workings of the mind which is your Self-Awareness, your Consciousness, your “You” that is able to observe or witness all these operations of the mind – the thoughts, feelings and sensations. Sensations are pretty easy – you have a hunger pang and you can decide whether to eat or not, or what to eat. You’re not going to starve if you don’t eat for an hour or two, right? So a sensation is just a message to your “You”, and “You” are the boss! A feeling, you may think, is much more you – but it ain’t necessarily so, as the song says, because your feeling comes from an initial thought and you have not analysed all your feelings and thoughts yet, so maybe your feeling, especially if it’s a “negative” or “bad” feeling, is just an old habit of thinking along certain lines and generating the corresponding feeling. You need to be free from feelings you don’t choose to have. We are looking for mind cleaning and freedom from the past. Because your thoughts are only generated from past inputs. You can’t logically think something you don’t know. Thought is wonderful, but it’s only “this is this; this is not that”, in computer language 0 or 1. We need to go beyond thought to “What is this?”, “Why is this?”, “How can this be?”. That is a question to the “You”, the “Witness” or the “Observer” that requires mental cleansing and silence for an answer to come. And that answer comes from beyond thought.

Six. Persevere and stick to it. Nothing is going to change in 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months or a year. We are so steeped in our own mindset, our society, our memories, our habits and our conditioning, that it will take major efforts and a long time to bring about any change. Either you apply steadfastness or you’re dead. You can’t just chop and change and expect immediate results. We’re talking about years and years of non-self-awareness, status quo and unexamined life that cannot be changed until we really want to change it and go all out to realise change. If in doubt, continue. When in doubt, continue. When all seems lost, continue. There’s no other way.

Seven. Look into your mind and see where the things you call “you” really come from. Re-analyse your personality type and go deeper and deeper. Establish order, struggle and do your practises.

Eight. Readjust your plan. After a time, you should feel quite comfortable with your working plan, and you won’t need to struggle with yourself to actually do it. You want to do it. You feel the need to find time to sit and meditate. You actually start enjoying it and needing it. You start having an “inner friend” who’s on your side now. You may miss a day or a session here and there, but you will feel the urge to come back to your practises, and you will want them. You’re moving inward. You’re feeling stronger. Outside, you may even start looking calmer and younger to others, more relaxed, more attractive….!

Nine. Re-assess everything. Your sense of inner calm is much stronger now. You are discovering that “You” are much more than body, feelings and thoughts. You are behind and inside all this; these are all externals of the mind, the content of mind, and “You” can decide, within your limitations, what thoughts, feelings and sensations you will have. You are freer than before. You are at the gates to freedom... You have a long way to go, but this is just the beginning of in inward journey that will only end for this body, as far as we know, when you die. But do not speculate, do not come to conclusions... doubt and you simply can't go wrong.

After this, stop thinking and reading, and start doing!