Edward’s Diary Entry 47 – Virtue 26: Absence of Overweening Pride (Atimanita)

"How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations! You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.' But you are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit. Those who see you stare at you, they ponder your fate: 'Is this the man who shook the earth and made kingdoms tremble, the man who made the world a wilderness, who overthrew its cities and would not let his captives go home?'” ...Depicted is Gustave Doré’s version of Lucifer’s Fall.

Atimanita is great pride, or the expectation of or passion for honour. A proud man thinks that he is superior to others and that he is worthy of being honoured by others. A proud woman is the same. This is wrong thinking, because it is some external factor that makes a man or woman think he or she is superior – money, possessions, power, even beliefs and supposed righteousness. But a “saint” or practitioner of the virtues is never superior, but always places him or herself behind others, and serves others, because by so doing, he or she serve all, and this also benefits the man or woman doing the service. Givers are thankful to receivers. Takers simply want more.

In the “taker”, we have the epitome of the overbearing ego, the inflated sense of being “something” or “someone”, called overweening pride. Such people talk, shout and trumpet their own self-importance for all to see. Like children blowing incessantly on a new whistle. And yet when you sit quietly and look inside, where all is dark... you find no sign of this supposed “ego”. Where is it? Lost in impulses, lost in thoughts. One thought comes, an image maybe, another thought continues. In between, where is this ego? Where is this “I”? You try to track it down. You are it. It is you. Awareness sees it come and go. And yet when we are unaware, we think we are it. And it runs its course. “I” like this; “I” want that. “I” think this; “I” am feeling that. How very tiresome that each “I” grabs onto each thought and makes it its own. It is this Awareness that sees the “I” entering and exiting, and watches… poised behind it, waiting and watching. Cultivate Awareness and see.

And let the ego deal with the world; but throughout, let Awareness be there, for that is more real than a mere ego, a mere picture of oneself....