Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Edward’s Diary Entry 39 – Virtue 18: Gentleness (Mardavam)

Beautiful swan. I chose you to represent gentleness, knowing full well that swans are supposed to have a tough temperament. I know what it’s like. I have been called a bully, too, for defending or to pretending to defend my opinions strongly. So yes, selecting a swan may have two readings – they look gentle and may personify calmness and kindness, but they may also be heavy-handed, or heavy-winged, and can deliver a blow with their heavy wings that knocks out their natural enemies, of which there are few. So maybe choosing the swan was a sign for me to be as gentle as they look, but to watch out for cruelty, teasing, criticising and unpleasantries in general. I was a teaser when I was a kid, and at times I still indulge in wry humour, which some people sometimes find difficult to understand. But I know I am also kind and gentle, and I love animals – swans included – so this Virtue is not that unknown to me, I just have to apply it to people as well. Gentleness is kindheartedness, so here it is apropos to quote a verse by one of the most erudite of historical figures, Lao Tzu:

“Thus it is said:
The path into the light seems dark,
the path forward seems to go back,
the direct path seems long,
true power seems weak,
true purity seems tarnished,
true steadfastness seems changeable,
true clarity seems obscure,
the greatest seem unsophisticated,
the greatest love seems indifferent,
the greatest wisdom seems childish.
The Tao is nowhere to be found.
Yet it nourishes and completes all things.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching


We could paraphrase the sage and say that “great gentleness often seems harsh”, as often a solution from deep within, and not just addressing the subjective field of human opinions, may seem difficult to digest, but it can also be as gentle as it is true. Take death. Death is the ultimate solution to all our troubles. So much suffering, so much pain, so much stress and anxiety – it is all totally levelled and solved by death. The suffering personality ceases to suffer, it is free. It dissolves into its constituent elements and floats away like a cloud. Now, think on this: the cessation of thinking is like death. “I think I am right; I think they are wrong; how could they have done this to me? Can’t you see that I don’t deserve to be treated like that? They are so bad to me, they don’t understand me. Yes it is they who don’t really appreciate me…because really I am the centre of the universe, not them!” And so on. All these puny human thoughts are solved by not thinking them, by the death of thought. What is left? Emotions? No, those are also produced by thoughts. Instinct? Not much of that left – it’s mostly social conditioning that remains. What remains is your Awareness, your inner perception, your wonder that there can be a perceiver. And you perceive that thoughts are mere regurgitations of past memories, opinions you have, vague wanderings of the mind, or poignant expectations for the future. Cease all this, and gentleness automatically flows in when harsh thoughts (against others and yourself) are stilled. Breathing is gentle. And there is a little death if you stop after each in-breath and wait, or as each out-breath subsides. It’s a gentle death, a sensation of dying to each moment and being reborn again in the next. That promotes gentleness, and we should try it sometimes...

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