Someone asked me
where I got the 4 “mind components” of Awareness, Memory, Identity and
Discrimination from – they weren’t in any textbook he had read. So I said, it’s
an update of the ancient yogic description, but let’s talk about a way to see
if this actually coincides with what we can see in our minds.
First, you have to sit
down quietly to test this out. When you sit and experience, various things
happen. You notice your body, your breathing, maybe a discomfort here or there,
sounds from outside, maybe a sound of a heartbeat or the gurgling of the
stomach from inside. Where is this happening? To whom is the experience being
offered? To me, you say. It is happening to me. I notice
it. And you’re right: there is something that is basically “you” and that “you”
is a screen on which these perceptions appear and disappear. We cannot imagine
thoughts arising, emotions being felt, sensations being received, identifying
with something or discriminating between anything if there is no “me” to
experience this. This “me” is the Awareness we have, or have been given,
or promote within ourselves. For anything to be experienced, there must be a
consciousness of being the experiencer. That experiencer is what we call Awareness,
consciousness, citta – call it by any other name if you will – but this is
the basic fact of being alive, reacting to our environment, inside or out, or
actually being an entity that perceives something from within or without.
The
test of this Awareness is that you cannot get behind it and observe it. You and
Awareness are one. If you are observing something (an object), the one that is
doing the observing is you (the subject). using Awareness. You can’t
make a subject into an object. You can’t observe Awareness. You are either more
or less aware or more or less unaware at any given time.
Memory,
manas.
This is the easiest mind function to observe. While sitting quietly, an image
or a picture or a set of words pop up. You see it is something you have experienced
in the past. A happening yesterday, or 15 years ago. Someone’s face, some harsh
words spoken to you 3 decades ago. A kind, warm feeling of being caressed or
kissed, or hugged by your mother. A dog you once knew. A painting or a book
that you liked. A long lost friend. This is the storehouse of impressions
gathered, at least since childhood. Many of these impressions are “lost” and
cannot be found at will, but they seem to be there somehow, because certain
circumstances allow them to be “found” again. They may be stored in more
conscious places or deep down in the unconscious or subconscious – which are
simply storerooms which we have not yet unlocked.
To
test this out, you purposefully sit and wait with a question as to where you
put something or what was the name of that person who once did or said
something. You review the memories surrounding that event and allow pictures
and images to flow. You may come up with something, you may not. But you are
watching, or placing before your Awareness, all the memories related to this
event and perhaps associated with others, as they come out of “nowhere” and
begin to flow. But watch out, because Memory (past) is easily converted into Imagination
(future) and you may begin to float off on a flight of fantasy. That is the
wonder of Memory: it can re-hash and re-concoct past events and create what
seem to be brand-new events for the future.
Discrimination (Intellect, buddhi).
This is what usually passes for the thinking mind, the logical brain. It is a
yes-no, on-off kind of thing. It is the choice – either immediate or pondered
on for some time. This is this; this is therefore not that. It’s what computers
use: zeros and ones, to attempt to get a firm grasp on a reality, or on the
reality it is capable of grasping! This is the “thinking brain” or “thought
process” when rationally or logically used to decide on one thing or another.
If you use it properly, it is beneficial. If used inadequately, it is a hassle
and a nuisance to both yourself and others. An inadequate use of this capacity
would be to decide, or come to a fixed conclusion, on who you are, triggering
the next capacity: Identity...
Identity (Self-Sense, Ahankara).
This is an inculcated “picture” of oneself as an entity, a person, usually being
wrapped in a bag of skin, and entertaining certain tendencies, thoughts and
feelings about him or herself, based on separation between what is “me” and
what is not “me” – like, from skin out equals “not me”; from skin in equals “me”.
It is what you usually mean when you say “I”. But at another moment, that same
“I” may become something different, because each little thought, feeling or
sensation brings another “I” in its train, and these are often contradictory, especially
when awareness is low. This is the power of Identification, or I-placement:
This capacity tends to ascribe to itself whatever it momentarily deems good,
and to others what it considers “not good”.
To
test this out, you sit quietly for another session and ask yourself who you
are. Your Intellect – if you can keep it on track – will tell you: I am
this body, I am this person, a father to some offspring, a child to a parent, a
friend to a friend, an enemy to an enemy, a taxpayer to the government, a
member of the choir to your church, a bad driver to other drivers if you make a
silly mistake, a pianist, a poet, a writer, a famous magistrate, a tramp, a
great lover one day and a fool the next, etc., etc. Express your opinion and
believe it, placing your sense of self into that opinion, and that’s Identity.
You are British, French, a Spaniard, a Catalan separatist, a voter, a member of
this or that political party. You wear certain clothes, you comb your hair a
certain way, you have a tattoo or a diamond earring. You are expressing an
identity with which you feel comfortable. Occasionally there are rumblings from
down below with which you don’t feel comfortable, but you try to cover them up
or smother them as far as possible and won’t admit these darker experiences to
anyone.
If
you spend some time on sorting through who you are – who you really are deep
down inside – you will see that all you have is opinions and thoughts about it.
You’ve read about it, you’ve studied a little modern psychology about it, and
maybe even come to some conclusions about it. But you don’t really know. Your
sense of self slips into everything you say and feel. You identify with every
thought and feeling, with no real knowledge of where these thoughts and
feelings come from. You think they are a product of your surroundings, but actually
all this experience is happening inside your head, in your brain, your mind. External
stimuli set off a reaction and often this reaction is merely unconscious, a
sort of reflex.
You’ve
been taught that stimuli often rule over you and your reactions. It’s normal,
they say. Only a superhuman being could possibly make his or her own mind the
seat of all choices and never be influenced by externals, right? No one is
really in control of their own minds, haven’t you been told that? And so,
lacking in knowledge and believing your social milieu, you make the big lie
become true: we are never responsible for what we think, feel, say and often
do. We refuse responsibility, and then complain about others being
irresponsible.
So in the final
analysis, Identity is a convenient or inconvenient fiction, a product of
the thought-process, and it has no real existence of its own. It is
make-believe. Insofar as it helps us to survive and find well-being, it is
good. When it makes our world – our inner and outer world – too small, narrow
and constricted, it is a civilised type of criminality that ultimately produces
violence in the mindstuff and provokes havoc throughout the world at large. The
excesses of Identity must be tamed by the exercise of humility, and other
virtues.
Can you find any
other capacities for experience in the mind as you sit there quietly and look? Or
as you walk about in the world and gather impressions? List
them below and we’ll look at them:
