Edward's Diary Entry 51- Virtue 4. Charitableness / Almsgiving – What to do about miserliness?

Miserliness, stinginess, not helping others, meanness, not giving, lack of generosity, 

tight-fistedness, greed.

You observe yourself – a little Self-Awareness will do it... See if you have a tendency to rake banknotes and coins towards you and stuff them away quickly so no one will get at them. See if you ever donate anything. Do you find yourself smiling for no reason, or are you into gouchiness and grumpiness? See if your middle name is Scrooge... Maybe you prefer taking to giving. You don’t smile at strangers who look happy… You turn away and wonder why they seem that happy, thinking "Bah, humbug!" You think you are poorly paid and unappreciated. You pilfer and steal on the side, when no one is looking. You find a wallet in the street and look around to see if someone is watching as you pick it up… etc., etc. You know the story.

Or you do have a tendency to give and help others but... you are always able to come up with excuses… “After all, I’m just scraping by, how can I help others? I have my debts, my mortgage, my expenses – that’s quite enough for me, thank you!” And then you turn around and think your government or some politician should do this or that for certain people, to take the load off your back. Someone else always has to do something, not you.

But remember, your personality was formed much like Charles Dickens formed Ebenezer’s (see picture) – he just invented it based on some other character he might have known – exaggerating here, cutting short there. Who wrote your Christmas Carol story? Who formed your personality? Did you really do it? Or did it just happen, due to circumstances, parents, siblings, society?

Some people seem to lack empathy and generosity. They are too busy with themselves to be concerned about others. They are usually types number 5, cold and calculating, or tough number 8’s, only interested in themselves. They have full-blown egos that command all their attention, preening themselves like songbirds on a branch, hanging onto the twigs with vise-like grips, so they won’t fall off and feel ashamed. Other types may be empathetic, but we don’t really do anything much, do we?

The solution is to look into your upbringing and your present-moment personality and see what’s going on. Do you dare to be brave enough to really do something to help another person – not just a family member or a friend asking for “influence” – but someone you don’t even know? Decide whether it is good to help others – if only a little. Yes or no? Put yourself in a pauper’s or homeless’s position and think if you would be happy to receive a coin for a loaf of bread. A pillow for a refugee’s bed. A blanket against the cold. A warm croissant on a frosty morning. You can always draw the line if you think someone is a wino and needs money for drink. Is it good to help? Would you be happy to receive help if you were in trouble? Yes or no? If you decide yes, then look at your finances and see what you can do.

Don’t say right away you have no money to spare. That’s too easy, it’s habit, isn’t it? You don’t have to go all the way and give half of your earnings in charity, do you? Why not start with 2%, or 5%, so as to eventually get up to the traditional “tithe” of 10% of your income for the poor and needy or for spiritual aspirants or organisations worthy of humankind and human kindness. Do you want to wait for others? They’re not going to start. Only you can start. Then you have to decide where, when and to whom...

Choose wisely, you won’t change the whole world in a day, not even in a lifetime, maybe. But by giving up a little of a physical material like coins, you are giving up a little more of that “spiritual” entity that rules you so cruelly and is called your “ego”. Sacrifice a little, but without expectation of reward. Giving just because you are forced to give or admonished to donate does not make you a better person. It’s the inner attitude that counts. Yes or no? By your example, the world could very well change. Without it, it’s definitely going to remain the same, or get worse. So is the writer right, or not? 

To give or not to give, and how much to give? Those are the questions. It’s your decision, your responsibility – no one else’s.